Sunday, July 27, 2008
~ Sunday, July 27, 2008 ~
Enough of insults and humilation to my skills in pool. In fact I don't really understand why must people who know least about a profession be commenting so much in it. Of course I do know that their remarks are unworthy, but it just ain't easy to not take it to heart, you know what I mean. Pool means so much to me, it's just that, now, here in the realistic society, never can one really do what his/her heart feels. If I can, I would also wanna be the top pool player in the world. Who would give me the monetary items to fulfill the needs of me? I do love pool, I do have the passion. But... circumstances don't always allow. I believe I'm not the only one...
By the way, I just won myself a carton of guiness draft and a pool cue in last weekend's event. Speed pool, 35 seconds in 9 ball! :)
It's time to put in efforts before the National competition strikes!
Saturday, July 05, 2008
~ Saturday, July 05, 2008 ~
She has grown up. :)
I saw that things had improved. The love for him is there. She has got more care and concern for him. She learnt to know how important those pills are for him. Even it means that I'm not around during the night, or woke up late in the morning, she will do like what I always do for him. I'm really glad that she has grown up and know his importance. Though at times we may flare up due to certain reasons, the love is still unmeasurable. She loves him like I do.
Definitely things don't always go the way we want it to be. She loves him but hate her. I'm stucked in between. Frankly I do hate her at times too. But somehow I understand that all she did was trying to salvage her wrong doings. Then again, it got worse each time. If I'd a remote controller for her, I will pause it for sure when the evil thoughts strike her mind.
When will all these gonna end? We're all sick and tired of that side of her. She will never learn her lesson. It has been years... really decades. Everything went wrong from the start. I'm so sad and helpless. Only disappointments time and again. He's the only person who will tolerate her, his love for her is eternity. Ya, I guessed so. Otherwise, all these miseries should have been ended about 8 years ago. Now that he's a changed person, he's lost his mind, I'm the only person left to 'control'. If a person with the same seniority cannot put everything at a halt, how can one who's so much younger be able to? Fact and reason doesn't always apply to them. She won't sit down and listen to whatever I've to say, whatever we're going through. I did have a conversation with her last time round. That was about half a year ago or more. What's the point? A leopard will never change its spots.
You know, I really don't wanna be mean. I wanna respect her. I wanna love her even more than I'm loving her now. Yet she don't wanna earn that from us. What bothers her is the paper, the paper that destroys the world.
Well, back to my topic. Finally I saw her future, a future that she's building for herself. I'm really proud of her. Since 21 years ago, I already saw her difference from the rest of the kids. She's someone intelligent, diligent. She's as independent as I am. What's more, she plans her route well off even though alone. At times she would cry and whine, that's human nature, that's my baby, but she's clear of what she wants in life. I do feel ashame of myself as when I was her age, I think I'm still like a lost sheep in the farmland. No matter how much she has to go through, she doesn't cough out whatever she has suffered. In fact, she has her own way of living and enjoying. Of course, things could have been easier for her if not with us. Whatever it is, Good Job BABY! You've done us proud, and most of all, yourself! You're my great baby! I'm always with you!
